SmallWorlds Blog
Urgent Health Warning: Beware Highly Infectious Smile Flu
May 14th, 2009 - SmallWorlds Chronicle
This is a special health and safety report; an urgent warning to all players on SmallWorlds.
In the aftermath of what was an exceptionally powerful full moon a few days ago, a strange kind of madness has descended upon some SmallWorlds citizens. What’s most worrying is that the craziness is spreading. One false move and you too could become infected!
After hearing rumors of strange goings-on in SmallWorlds private and public spaces, I was sent to investigate. What I found may shock and confuse you. But as your trusted SmallWorlds reporter, it is of course my duty as a determined newshound to bring you these disturbing pictures.
“Find the squirrels,” said my source. “They hold the key to the smile flu infection.”
It took some searching around. When I finally found them, they were having some kind of squirrel conference in a spa pool and refused to speak with me. I tried to get in to see if this would make them a little more conversational but as the spa was full, I had no luck.
I was just about to give up and try another smile flu lead, when one of the squirrels took pity on me.
“Whatever you do, don’t go to Mary’s Antiques,” he whispered. “That is, if you don’t want to get infected….” He had a crazy look in his beady little eyes as he spoke. I got a shiver up my spine.
Citizens; what else could I do but go there anyway? My hands were shaking as I climbed in the nearest teleporter. In a moment, I was in Mary’s Antique Shop. But not the Mary’s I know and love. I came face to face with this shocking line of smileys! It was obvious that I had come straight to Smile Flu Ground Zero.
Covering my eyes in case just looking at them was dangerous, I fled to what I hoped would be a safe harbour from the madness - our very own Cue Club. It was not to be!
Surely Thermae Spa would be an oasis of sanity?
But Thermae Spa was even crazier! Was the Moderator their leader? And how on earth did the Mod get the power to walk on water?
My head was spinning. I needed a place to calm down. Maybe I’d be safe in Dan’s Imports.
Sobbing now, I stumbled into Pirate Cove, where events only grew more horrifying!
SmallWorlds citizens, I can hardly bear to reveal the worst to you. Brace yourself for a shock. See the smiling man second from the left? Being one who is committed to bringing you ALL of the news ALL of the time, it is my professional duty to inform you that this person is none other than Kent Kronkite, fellow reporter and sometime object of my (professional) affection. Yes, Kent was infected by the curse of the smilies! Smile flu was spreading to SmallWorlds Staff!
I was now more than scared… I was completely terrified. I was doing all I could to make sure that my face stayed in a frozen and expressionless mask. It felt too dangerous to risk any kind of facial expression at all. Even the hint of a smile could bring on an infection.
Carefully I backed out of Pirate Cove. All I wanted was to run as fast as I could to the safest, most secure place I could think of… the SmallWorlds Chronicle Head Office. Thanks to our commitment to hard work and serious reporting, the SmallWorlds Chronicle is often a smile-free zone. Surely, there I would find sanctuary.
But I was only there a moment when I heard thundering and trumpeting. Suddenly I was surrounded. A herd of Ollyphants was filling the room!
I owe my sanity to a kind SmallWorlds citizen who pulled me out of there. She took me to a shelter where fellow survivors of the smile flu epidemic were busy holding up the walls, keeping the fabric of SmallWorlds intact until the strange infection which seems to manifest as some kind of ‘herd madness’ will hopefully pass.
I write to you from there with this grave warning, SmallWorlds citizens. Be very careful. If you come across groups of citizens with smilies, run away as fast as you can. Make sure you keep your distance from Ollyphants. Keep a watch on your fellow players and friends, and please report in via the forums should you spot any further outbreaks of this highly infectious condition.
Oh – and be extremely wary of groups of squirrels in spa pools. I was unable to get to the bottom of just how they are tied into this outbreak, but I am confident that they are somehow involved in the transmission of the smile flu here in SmallWorlds. If you own a squirrel suit and you are not part of the smile flu rebel band, I’d advise you not to fraternize with groups of other squirrels lest you frighten other citizens. Thank you for your co-operation.
We live in strange times. Without constant vigilance, the smile flu craziness could get you too. Go well, citizens. We at SWHQ are thinking of you all, as we ride out this epidemic together.
- Honesty Blaize
Official Link:
http://blog.smallworlds.com/2009/05/14/urgent-health-warning-beware-highly-infectious-smile-flu/
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Topic: 5/13/2009 Urgent Health Warning: Beware Highly Infectious Smile Flu (Read 5815 times)